Empty Syndrome

Times they are a changing.
It seems like everywhere I look, I am seeing new seasons of life.  My sweet baby sister is getting married this Friday and I am getting to watch her grow in to her role as a wife.  At the same time I am watching my parents become empty-nesters...for real this time.  LOL.  In my own home, I am watching my 6 year old son and 4 year old daughter grow independent...a little too independent.  I am watching my sweet babies that loved to be rocked to sleep...now want to tuck themselves in to bed.  It is exciting and sad all at the same time.  All of that makes for an emotional momma.  I was born that way...emotional.  I always feel sorry for the bad guy and the lady in distress.  I always make a frowny face when I see roadkill. I cry when I am happy and I cry when I am sad.  I keep Kleenex in business.

Even though I am emotional...I am very content.  I love my life and where we are as a family.  I love enjoying each moment that we have been promised and living for that moment.  I am so thankful to get to see my babies turning in to little grown ups.  I can almost see a hint of our future with Mason and his caring nature and Annie with her love for singing.  If I planned just right, I am sure that I could mold our family in to a traveling show before my children realize they have a say-so to not want to participate.  Nah, that's too much work.

I have been reflecting, sometimes with my frowny face on, that I have an empty lap since my kids are "too big" to sit in my lap.  And empty arms since I no longer have a tiny baby to hold and to just stare at for hours if I feel like it.  Then I see my mom as she mentions being an empty-nester after Friday.  Do you see the pattern?  Many seasons of a mom's life is preparing for a new season...preparing for something that filled your time to become time doing other things. With my kids being "bigger" and since I have experienced a hysterectomy and can't physically have anymore children...I find myself having a bad case of baby fever. Some of my friends that are expecting may start to hide when they see me coming for fear that I am stalking them to get to hold their new baby!  Don't you just love the smell of a new baby?  They really should make that in to an air freshener for emotional moms like me.  I have been praying lately about this.  "God, are you calling me to adopt?" Why am I feeling the desire to have another baby in our family?  It's weird.  At some times I feel that I could adopt the world and then other times I feel that I just need to sign-up to rock babies on Sunday mornings at church and "be-gon-ya" with my baby fever ailment.  I am happy where we are.  Our little family of 4.  Although, I do feel if God opened doors for Matt and I to go on a mission trip even remotely close to an orphanage...I do fear that we would come home with a few extra children. And that kind of scares me.  But I also, THANKFULLY, feel that God is saying...read Ecclesiastes 3...there is a season for everything. And, you my dear, are right where I want you to be.  So enjoy it.

This is Ecclesiastes 3 from The Message...
¹ There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:

^2-8 A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.
^9-13 But in the end, does it really make a difference what anyone does? I've had a good look at what God has given us to do—busywork, mostly. True, God made everything beautiful in itself and in its time—but he's left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he's coming or going. I've decided that there's nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life. That's it—eat, drink, and make the most of your job. It's God's gift.
¹⁴ I've also concluded that whatever God does, that's the way it's going to be, always. No addition, no subtraction. God's done it and that's it. That's so we'll quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear.
¹⁵ Whatever was, is.
Whatever will be, is.
That's how it always is with God. 

I highlighted my favorite parts!  Busy work?  Am I really called to be "busy" being a wife and mom? Just in re-reading that I feel a rush of overwhelming praise of thanksgiving!  Have a good time and get the most out of life?  Ok, I hear ya, God...I can handle this!  Oh, and...quit asking questions and simply worship in HOLY FEAR?  Yes!  That is what my life is about!  I give my family my all...and I love it...and we stay SO busy!  I enjoy it and I do consider it a job...an investment in to my legacy.  And with all of that...my cup runeth over...and that is what leads to my crying fits of happiness and worship for times that have passed (no more babies at our house) and for current times (watching Independence grow in confidence) and for the future (wedding days and grandbabies).  I remember God my prayers as a young girl.  I remember praying almost every single night "God, please have someone super special for me that loves you more than he will ever love me...and I just pray God, that you will trust me enough...no matter what mistakes I have made...trust me to raise some of YOUR children.  I promise I won't let you down and I will raise my children to fear You, oh Lord and I your name will be so strong on their tongue that they will not even want to think of anything but worshiping your name!"
Well...here I am...with THE most wonderful husband and children that listen to me pray and ask me to pray with eyes so big in excitement that I can't help but to step up my game every single day to know God's word better and to trust Him even more each and everyday.  God provided!  In such a big way!  I can't help but to hold up my end of the deal by preaching the name of the Lord day in and day out...from sun up to sun down.  Oh, this does not mean I chase my kids around with an open Bible.  I simply "stay busy" having a good time worshiping in everything we do.  Everything from goofing off to delivering punishment.

So, if you find yourself anxious to know what God is up to...you will find out soon enough.  Enjoy the moment and where you know you are.  Each day is unknown to us and there may come a time where we "wish" for yesterdays.  But don't waste away a day wishing when you already have plenty to enjoy!